Asshole
by queenjaffacake
Summary: Alfred was always good friends with Arthur. Then he is presented with a situation and doesn't know how to deal with it. Alfred-centric, AU, side pairings SPUK and minor GERITA. T for language. Homophobia is present.


Now Edited as I didn't realise the line breaks weren't working! Dumb spelling mistakes fixed as well. Added sentences that explained Alfred a little better.

0000

Alfred had been friends with Arthur Kirkland since he arrived to their school a few years ago. The small, angry Briton had moved from London to the small town where Alfred lived, for his parents work. Many were put off by Arthur's prickly attitude, and Alfred had been one of them. He appeared to be snooty and snappy. However, it all changed when their Maths teacher had intervened.

"Alfred, come here for a second" Mr Wang called at the end of class. Alfred strode forward and found himself standing next to Arthur Kirkland. Arthur seemed to be trying to avoid his gaze.

"Alfred, Arthur here is struggling with Math. Can you please tutor him?" the Chinese man said, and Alfred inwardly groaned.

"Sorry sir, I can't, I have football practice and I'm too busy."

Mr Wang rolled his eyes. "You don't have practice every day. I know you can tutor him, you don't want to. This will be extra credit and will look good on any job or college applications."

Alfred nodded, deciding it would be best to act upon his (heroic) conscience. "Okay". He turned to Arthur. "So when do you want to start?"

0000

Arthur wasn't really that prickly once you got to know him. Sure, he was pretty blunt when you first talked to him, but after a while of tutoring him in math Alfred realised he was just a softie with a hard outer layer. And a very good person.

After Alfred had managed to bump up Arthur's grades to a passing level, Alfred kept in company with the Brit. Alfred liked the Briton, he didn't seem to care about much about popularity or sports or whatever his teammates seemed to. He accepted Alfred for the big science dork he really was who loved superheroes.

Alfred was round Arthur's house, and they were both sitting on their bed, during their English homework. Alfred was trying to concentrate on the essay due tomorrow, but other thoughts were plaguing his mind.

"My dad wants me to be a football star." Alfred blurts out, and Arthur looks up from the novel in hand. "I don't want to. I like football, but I don't want a career out of it. Next year he wants me to apply for a sports scholarship, but I think I should go for physics, I don't know-"

"Stop" Arthur cut him off. "Making your dad happy isn't going to make you happy. Do physics if you want to. I can't see why myself, horrible subject."

Alfred sighed. "I just don't want to disappoint anyone."

"That's okay. But you should know you're going to sometimes." Arthur smiled. "Now let's write the essay."

0000

It was the next year, two weeks before Christmas, when Arthur ruined it all.

Arthur had sat him down in Arthur's bedroom, and Arthur looked over to him. "I need to tell you something."

Alfred looked over to him. "What is it?"

"You know Antonio?"

"The Spanish guy?" Arthur nodded. "Yeah, I know him."

"Well… we're dating now."

Alfred stopped. He stared at Arthur. "_What!?"_

Arthur coughed awkwardly. "Yes, Alfred, I'm gay."

Alfred continued staring. "Since _when?"_

"Well- I've been wondering for a while. But I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure. But Antonio and I got closer, and then I realised that girls really didn't do it for me, and then he asked me out a week ago for a date, and now, er, we're dating."

Alfred glared at Arthur. "I don't believe this."

Arthur's face started twisting into a look of hurt. "What do you mean?"

Alfred stood up. "I mean, why do you have to be _gay, _Arthur?"

Arthur's pained look turned into a glare. "It's not like I woke up one day and thought 'hey, why don't I turn gay!"

"Well it's come out of nowhere!"

Arthur just stared at him. "I didn't think you had a problem with it, you said you weren't bothered by gay marriage."

"Well, I just don't want my friends to be gay, okay? I just want us to be normal, I don't want to be looked at by men, you know? You could develop a crush on me, I don't want that."

Arthur stood up also. "How _dare _you! You think just because I'm gay I'm going to fancy you!? Don't flatter yourself. Are you really that insecure with your own self that you can't be friends with gay people!?"

"I am perfectly secure with myself, and I think dicks are gross. I just think that you being gay is going to damage our friendship. You're going to change and I don't want that."

Arthur shoved Alfred, and Alfred could see tears brimming in his eyes. "GET OUT"! Alfred walked down the stairs and slammed the front door.

0000

After that day, Arthur and Alfred didn't speak to each other again. Alfred gave his Christmas gift for Arthur of the two new novels of some fantasy series to charity. Alfred avoided Arthur at school whenever it looked like Arthur was going to talk to him. Alfred noticed none of Arthur's other friends came too watch his football matches any more. Kiku, who was on the student council with Arthur, stopped inviting him round to play video games. Alfred didn't care that much. Why should he?

Alfred felt bitterness swell inside of him when he thought of Arthur. Arthur being gay ruined everything.

Eventually, Alfred graduated high school. Alfred was happy that he'd finally won his father round on taking Physics instead of Football, and could take comfort in the fact that jobs _loved _physics graduates. Moreover, Alfred was simply happy to leave behind sour memories of high school

Adult hood would finally begin.

0000

It was a cold night in January, and Alfred was returning home late after volunteering at the homeless shelter. This night had been especially busy to the bitterly cold night, but Alfred was happy to help. _It must be colder than the Arctic right now, _he inwardly thought, (though his science side of his brain told him that was ridiculous). He was just thankful that his college dorms were just around the corner, when he heard a moan come from around the corner.

As he rounded the corner, he saw the commotion. He saw four larger men crowded around a man, who was on the floor desperately trying to protect his head from the fierce kicks. "Fucking faggot, disgusting piece of shit, where's your boyfriend now?"

Alfred rolled his eyes but continued walking on. _Nothing to do with you, Alfred, _he thought to himself. But he heard another moan, and Alfred felt his hero instincts kick in and turned around.

"Hey, guys just leave him" he said as he rounded up to them.

The men stopped kicking the man and looked at him. "Yeah, well we wouldn't if he wasn't such a disgusting faggot."

"Man, just leave it." Alfred said again and puffed his chest slightly to make him appear bigger. The men looked at each other, then seemed to decide against having another alteration, and just walked away.

Alfred looked at the man and gave a hand to help him off the ground. The man took his hand and shakily stood up. He was beaten and bloodied, but he didn't appear to have any serious injuries.

"Dude, are you okay?" Alfred asked, and the man nodded. "Are you in the same college? Do you need help getting back to your dorms?"

The man nodded. "Thank you for your help. I am in the same college. I'll just get going now, though." He said. The man strode away, but Alfred noticed him shaking.

"Come on man, come to my room, it's just up here." The man turned around and nodded. "My name is Alfred, by the way."

The man smiled. "I'm Ludwig."

0000

Alfred had let Ludwig sleep on the couch after giving him ice for his bruises and bandages for his cuts. Alfred raised the possibility of going to the hospital, but Ludwig dismissed it, saying his wounds were just flesh ones, and weren't any different from the ones he got when he used to play sports. He also dismissed the idea of calling the police, saying he wasn't in the mood for trouble. Alfred was going to inquire the reasons for the beating, but Ludwig soon fell asleep on the couch.

It wasn't until morning that answers were given.

"I kissed my boyfriend outside the cinema. They saw and followed me until I was near the alley way, then they beat me." He said. Alfred nodded, face paling a little, as he wished that Ludwig wasn't actually gay and the beating happened as a mistake. "They didn't go after my boyfriend though, thank goodness. I texted him last night."

Alfred nodded, trying to swallow the pit of unease in his stomach. He was thinking of a way to try and change the subject. "You're not from around here, are you?"

Ludwig smiled, well as best he could with a swollen lip. "No, I'm from Germany. But my dad went here and said it was a good university so I thought I'd follow."

"That's pretty cool. I always wanted to travel but I suppose I haven't got the money for that yet."

Ludwig smiled. "You should when you can. But I best be going, I have a lecture soon. Thank you, Alfred."

0000

Alfred was slightly bewildered by his new friendship with Ludwig, which started out as Ludwig buying Alfred a coke in the canteen, to bumping into each other at the lounge and watching sports together, and then hanging out more and more.

And Alfred found himself unable to justify his opinions on having gay acquaintances less and less.

Ludwig wasn't a pervert. Ludwig wasn't abnormal. Alfred's friendship with Ludwig wasn't really affected by the fact he was gay. Alfred realised he wasn't even flinching when Ludwig mentioned his boyfriend. He had even met the boyfriend, Feliciano, who was nice, even if a little loud. Alfred didn't realise when he forgot about the past ideas, but Alfred felt happy with himself when he realised he didn't want to think of those past theories.

When Alfred was cooking dinner for himself, his roommate Toris, Ludwig and his boyfriend, that Alfred found himself thinking of the past. He had been thinking of Physics revision which led him to past memories at physics class in high school. Physics class involved half the class falling asleep, someone blowing something up, Arthur asking Alfred how to work out the the next question-

Arthur.

Arthur, the nice guy he previously used to have a laugh with.

Arthur, the nice guy he confessed a lot of his personal troubles to.

Arthur, the nice guy he betrayed when Arthur confessed to him.

Ludwig found Alfred nearly sobbing into his soup when he walked into the kitchen. "Alfred? Alfred, what's wrong?"

"I'm such an asshole!" Alfred said, tears beginning to stream down his face.

Ludwig cocked his head to the side. "You're not an asshole. You're a very good person, Alfred."

Alfred felt his heart twist when he heard that. "Oh, fuck, I'm such an asshole though. You don't _know _me, Ludwig."

After an awkward dinner, Alfred confessed to Ludwig his story of Arthur and his feelings of guilt. Ludwig nodded, and he seemed to go a bit quiet. He was a man of few words anyway, but his face turned stony.

After Alfred finished his tale, Ludwig sighed and looked at Alfred. "Why did you think those things, Alfred, and whats changed?"

"My dad says a lot of negative things about gay people. Growing up, I doubted his ideas on homosexuality and didn't really believe that stuff like gay marriage would change 'society forever'. But I guess when Arthur told me, and had to deal with a person I actually _knew_ being gay, I got scared and believed the crap my dad said. But then I met you, and I realised that none of what I though made any sense. And today I thought of Arthur for the first time in ages, and now I just feel so guilty."

Ludwig nodded. "You need to apologise to him."

"I don't know how. I heard from idle gossip that he broke up with Antonio and moved back to the UK."

"Are you sure you won't be able to contact him from former friends. He may have a Facebook?"

"I'll check." Alfred sighed. "But…I'm not sure if I can apologies though. It's been so long…"

Ludwig sighed. "I think you should. But I guess it's up to you." Ludwig turned to go to the door. "Alfred, you're not an asshole. You just acted in an asshole-y way. Trust me, there's a difference." Ludwig smiled at him, rather awkwardly, and left.

0000

Alfred looked up Arthur on Facebook, and he had no account, but Alfred had found Kiku, who he thought might know Arthur's contacts. Alfred refrained from asking, and too scared to confront Arthur as he was scared of the rejection of his apology. Luckily Ludwig didn't press him to apologise. They left it at that.

The next year flew by and they were soon graduating. The normally stoic Ludwig broke down crying, although he tried to hide it and compose himself.

"Hey, man, don't cry" Alfred laughed, and patted Ludwig on the back. "We'll stay in contact".

Ludwig sniffed. "Sure. It's really strange though, I think _this_ is the start of adulthood. We're now going to get jobs, me in a different country; I'm getting a place with my boyfriend." Ludwig seemed close to blubbering again.

"Come on man, no more crying." Alfred pulled Ludwig into a hug.

Ludwig sighed. "Before we leave, I need to tell you something. I think you need to work out your guilt with Arthur."

Alfred paled. "It's fine if we just leave it. No use in dragging up bad memories."

Alfred could tell Ludwig didn't agree, but Ludwig just nodded.

0000

Alfred's next few years were a blur. He found himself, somehow by sheer dumb luck (though his family refuted otherwise), working at a popular scientific magazine. He gained such new friendly work colleagues who enjoyed his love for science, such as Eduard, a technology wiz from Estonia, and Berwald, their health columnist. Alfred thanked whoever was looking out for him as he settled into his new working life.

His boss called him up one day. "Alfred, we have an exciting opportunity for you" his boss said. "We're expanding our European circulation and we want you to go to the offices in London for a few months to oversee the changes. We're sending over some more experienced members, but we feel we need the more innovative young to go over as well."

"Wow, really? I completely accept, sir!"

0000

Alfred couldn't believe his luck. If someone had told him when he first got the job that he was going to have the responsibility of overseeing changes to a major newspaper, he could've hit them. This was a major stepping stone in his career, and it was an excellent opportunity to visit Ludwig and Feliciano in Germany. But his excitement was clouded with thoughts of Arthur, and the knowledge there was a good chance he was in the UK. He knew, deep down, he needed to sort things out, but he couldn't bear to face Arthur.

But as he was waiting for his flight at the airport, an older man walked past him, crying. He seemed distraught, as if he didn't know his way, and Alfred felt concerned.

Alfred walked over to him. "Sir, are you okay? Is there any way I can help you?"

The man glared at him. "No" he snapped. "Unless you can bring back sons from the dead."

Alfred recoiled slightly. "Oh man, I'm so sorry'."

The older man's glare softened and he sighed, and patted Alfred on the back. "Thanks I guess. Just make sure, that you always make sure that you take every opportunity in with your loved ones. Don't ever let anyone get estranged." And with that, he walked off.

Alfred was left alone, and the man's words were a spark that brought his mind immediately ran back to Arthur. Alfred had avoided the situation for so long, and had tried to convince himself that it was unnecessary to bring up bad feelings of the past and he should just move on. However, he realised he couldn't move on until he had truley put the past behind him. He sighed, mentally berating himself, and realised what he needed to do.

0000

On a rainy day in London, Alfred's face lit up when he saw a confirmed request from Kiku Honda from Facebook. He excitedly looked at whether his new friend was online, and sure enough, he was, despite the time difference.

Alfred: Thanks for accepting my friend request Kiku!

This is going to sound rude, but I don't suppose you know Arthur Kirkland's contact details?

Kiku: Maybe. I'm not sure it's appropriate to give them to you though.

Alfred: I know what you're thinking. But I really need the contact details to apologise in person. I've changed, I realised how much of a colossal douchebag I was.

Kiku: I… I'm not sure Alfred.

Alfred: Please, Kiku! If it all blows up I won't say it was you who gave them to me.

Kiku: Okay Alfred. But if this goes horribly wrong then _I will give you hell._

0000

After receiving the details, Alfred planned to travel by train to Cambridge, where Arthur lived on a weekend day. Alfred had contemplated ringing Arthur to arrange the details but felt it was probably best if he just met him in person.

Alfred looked at the house the address Kiku gave him described. It was a nice house, small but Alfred could imagine it being eloquently furnished and felt his palms growing sweaty, as he hopped around on each foot. He took a deep breath and knocked.

He heard footsteps and then the door opened.

It was _Antonio. _

Antonio smiled at him. "Hello, can I help you?" he asked, his Spanish accent watered down, Alfred theorised as a result of living in english speaking countries for so long.

Alfred smiled back, a little shakily. "Hello. Is this where Arthur Kirkland lives?"

Antonio nodded. "Yes… who are you?"

"Well, I'm Alfred-"

"Oooh" Antonio cut him off. "I remember you."

"I've come to apologise to Arthur."

Antonio nodded. "It's a little late for that."

Alfred sighed. "I know. But better late than never, ha-ha."

Antonio stared at him with an incredulous look. "Well come in, I guess, he's out at the moment but he should return shortly."

Alfred nodded, and followed Antonio into the living room where they sat down. "So you both stayed together?"

Antonio shook his head. "We broke up for university, he went back to the UK and I moved to Spain and took English. I struggled to find work so I moved to the UK to train as a Spanish teacher and we met up again as friends. We hit if off again I guess, and we've been together for the last few years."

"Wow, that's really nice." Alfred nodded, and an awkward pause followed. Alfred thanked the heavens when he heard the front door open and close. Antonio walked out and heard Antonio greet Arthur and murmur that he had a visitor.

"Who could possibly be visiting—" Arthur turned round the corner and saw Alfred. "Oh. Well this is a surprise." He said rather coolly.

Antonio rounded into the room. "I'll make us some tea! Would you prefer coffee, Alfred?"

"Oh- yes, please" Alfred replied.

"Ok!" Antonio sung and disappeared, leaving Arthur and Alfred alone together.

Arthur coughed into the silence. "You came to visit because…."

"I came to apologise- and this is going to sound stupid because it was _years _ago- for how I acted when you came out."

Arthur just nodded.

Alfred decided to continue. "Years ago I realised how much of a total d-bag I'd been. I felt incredibly guilty because you'd been such a great friend to me and I betrayed your trust and friendship by acting like a total asshole from a bunch of stereotypes and I should've known better. I waited for so long to come and apologise because I was scared and didn't want to bring up old memories and convinced myself it was best to bury them. I was wrong, and I'm so sorry."

Arthur sighed. "I confided in you completely believing you would accept it. I believed coming out to my family would be harder than coming out to you. I was so…" Arthur gulped, a bit nervously, "distraught when you rejected me and it made me feel really terrible and I blamed myself. You avoiding me at school didn't help." Arthur looked at Alfred. "But I got over it. I stopped blaming myself. I eventually accepted myself and I realised that it wasn't my fault for the negative way our friendship ended. Still" Arthur smiled at Alfred.

"It makes me feel so…" Arthur turned away slightly, and Alfred could see Arthur turning pink. _He hasn't changed, _Alfred thought. "It makes me feel really happy that you've come to apologise."

Alfred let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He beamed at Arthur. "That's great!" he saw Arthur give him a look. "I mean, that's totally amazing that you have accepted my apology."

Arthur smiled. "You're still as awkward as ever."

Alfred shook his head. "Hey, no way man, I've never been awkward, I'm a social situation _master."_

Arthur laughed. "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

Alfred shook his head. "I can't impose, this was so unexpected—"

Arthur grabbed his arm. "No, really. I insist."

END

0000

(and then Arthur, Antonio and Alfred meet up with Ludwig and Feliciano and have lots of fun and then Antonio and Arthur get married and Alfred meets Seychelles at the wedding and they have babies forever after.)

I hoped you liked it! Basically I read a few fics where a person reacts homophobically then realises he was wrong and was actually gay for that person. But I don't know, I wanted a story where a person was homophobic because he was an arsehole but then realises he was wrong because some people aren't arseholes forever and grow out of doucheness when they get older or obtain new experiences in life which makes them rethink things. Because Alfred was never a bad person, he just justified some stupid beliefs because he was scared and didn't know how to deal. Yep

I _tried _to make it look like it was Alfred speaking and tried to keep up with American vocabulary but I'm not sure how well I succeeded.

I imagined in my head a more general US-UK friendship fic but it turned out really Alfred centric and Ludwig appeared more than Arthur I think.

The town where Alfred and Arthur grew up is just 'generic-a'. I imagined Alfred moving to New York for university. The time frame at the start of the fic probably takes place in 2008 and then the end is a few years into the future. I didn't want to confuse myself with dates though. They're both 25 at the end.

I've never actually completed a (non-joke) fic before so I'm really proud of myself even if the writing style isn't too hot.

(hur fan fiction tried to spellcheck 'arsehole' to 'hoarse'. ha.)


End file.
